Did It Just Happen?

I once read a blog that really touched me. I connected with it because the author was so raw and truthful.

When I write my blogs, I am very careful to not say the wrong thing. I don't want the finger to get pointed at anyone in particular, but it is really hard to keep my own voice in my blogs when I try to not offend anyone. I am tired of it. 

I am not looking to be more vulnerable on the internet, but I am willing to have my experiences connect with others. Sometimes that's the little light at the end of the tunnel telling you "you're not alone."

Today I am here to say that I have been hurt, but who hasn't been? 

I was in a relationship and my ex had someone else fall in love with him. It racked my brain for a long time during the relationship because I couldn't understand it, especially when he swore that there was nothing going on between them two. 

"How does someone just fall in love with someone else just like that? Out of blue, without any encouragement? Did it just happen? Like a virus or a cold? Is it contagious?"

Maybe it was not encourage. Maybe he just really liked the attention. Maybe... maybe... maybe 

Personally, I don't really care about the reasons why he did anymore. It just dawned on me .... well right now as to why HADN'T he stopped it. Was it because I didn't pay enough attention to him? Did my independence scare him? Intimidate him? 

I really don't know. I don't really care for his reasons either. 

All I know is that it hurt me. It brought me down low. Real low. Frankly, I cannot have someone in my life who is willing to do that to me again. To make me question my self-worth that I have worked so hard to build. To see it shattered in a matter of words because he was uncertain of himself that he needed more attention than I could give. 

How is that fair? To make someone else insecure just because you are. It's not. I refuse to be there again.

 I am not saying I am not willing to be vulnerable with someone again. I am just saying that it'll be harder for them to knock me down now because I know better. 

My dear friends, please remember that you worth does not depend on how someone else treats you, but how you treat yourself. You want the good things in life? Then go get it. It'll be hard, but worth it. 

Please don't let someone tear you down due to their insecurities. Lift them up where you can, but walk away if it's hurting you. 

Stay gold, 

Shay