The Destructive Secret

I hope I can get this right.

I have witnessed someone I know go through something I could have never even imagine. I hope I get her story right.

Here is a man and lady. They are in love.

He kisses her forehead, opens her door, and blows warm air into her hands when it is cold outside. When she is not looking, he looks at her as if she is the greatest treasure he could ever have, and maybe she is.

She makes him dinner, makes sure he is healthy, stops by his office with little notes to let him know that he is always on her mind - because he is.

When he laughs, she can't stop herself from laughing as well. It's contagious! When he sees her smiling, he does not want it to fade. So, he tickles her.

They seem to be the lucky ones.

Until he revealed QUITE the secret. He had trouble telling her because it was something so embarrassing and shameful. Something he knew could hurt her. Through clenched teeth and tearful eyes, he finally exposed it.

An addiction to pornography.

She suddenly became insecure and scared. How could she measure up to airbrushed models with the hour glass body? She was just a girl.

Most girls she knew would run from this situation. Why would she want or need this in her life?

However, she knelt in prayer to ask for guidance and Heavenly Father provided her with the strength to endure it.

She told him she would stay and fight by his side. She knew he would fall again, but she also knew he had the desire, and power to overcome this dirty, disgusting addiction. She also knew the power of the atonement.

When he did fall, it hurt her. It seemed to her she was never enough because he chose a computer screen over loving her.

Yet no matter how many times he fell and dragged her even lower, she dusted off her clothing, and held out a hand to him.

"I am not leaving you" she would say each time.

She knew that this addiction to pornography did not make this man a bad one.

He was just making the wrong choices, but he was trying to get out of it. He was fasting, praying, and started to increase in faith. However, he kept falling every now and then.

Each time he fell, it hurt her. She knew that any wound could heal if it was given time, so she stayed right by him.

Did she feel she couldn't do better, or that this was the only option??  ABSOLUTELY NOT.

But how could she leave someone she loves so dearly on the battlefield, wounded and immobile?

She couldn't.

She is not naive. She knows exactly what she is getting herself into. Is she stupid? Maybe.

Soon, he became fed up. Fed up of what? I couldn't really say. My assumptions is he became fed up of hurting her and her coming back each time to save him. How was that fair to her? How did he deserve her? In his eyes, he was a monster.

Now, she is stuck with a decision. To listen to him when he says "walk away from this chaos" or to stay right where she knows she should be.

Either decision she chooses to make, I feel she will be okay. I want her to know that she will be okay.

Through all this mayhem she was still smiling and I know she will continue to. So many people love her and she is so blessed.

There is so much beauty out there, my dear friend, and you know it too.

Shay